Family

“They can never take away from us the place or two, where always, time stands still. “
-Gene Hill

Let me preface this by saying two things: One, nothing brings a memory crashing back to me the way a song does ( Travelin’ Band and Money for Nothing never fail to make me smile, remembering two kids and their child father dancing to these two songs on a cheap stereo in a rundown house like we were the Vanderbilts, not having a care in the world). And two, there was a period in my life where I was totally obsessed with the group Boston and listened to nothing but the three Boston tapes that I had. But already I digress from my original thought.

I was on my way to work today and heard “Don’t Look Back”, as you might have guessed, a Boston song and immediately thought of one the trout fishing trips that Pop, Dad, Will, and myself used to take every September for about five or six years when I was in junior high and high school. We began taking these when I was in the eighth grade and I can honestly say that I have rarely had as much fun doing anything as I did for the three days that we were in Dripping Springs, Arkansas every year. Dripping Springs was right outside of a little town in north central Arkansas called Pangburn, which has got to be home to the ugliest women in the free world. I don’t think we ever saw one decent looking gal. But once again, I digress. We would go up every during the last weekend in September. The place was a little bit in the mountains and it was beautiful there. Dad and I fished in in one boat and Will and Pop in another. There was always a little friendly competition (sometimes pretty Unfriendly) between the boats and me and Dad always smoked ‘em, in our books anyway. The limit was either six or eight apiece and we would catch our limits sometimes, but usually not, and pretty much relax and do whatever we wanted for a few days.

Once, I caught the biggest trout, by far, that any of us had ever caught. Dad and I normally just put the fish in our “dead well”, as we called the bottom of his boat, but today was to be different. Before I finish this, I just want to remind everyone that there is usually a reason things are left behind or thrown away. That reason would be because they are NO GOOD. Now, back to that fateful day. Dad had found an old bream basket that someone had left on the bank of the river (Little Red by the way) and decided that we should use it. I, being young and naïve, agreed. I can see him now, smiling to himself about someone else’s bad fortune that turned into our good fortune. Well, the first fish that we hooked that morning was my trophy. It really was a nice rainbow and we were even discussing how the trophy shot should be taken when Dad managed to land one of his normal, inferior fish. As he pulled up the basket to put his fish in it, we had just enough time to see my trophy, my white whale, slip through a hole in the basket. That is why we have no picture of this monstrosity. The moral of this story is to never trust other people’s garbage, or your own Dad for that matter, when it comes to fishing.

It is these little stories that we retell over and over again, the stories that would mean nothing to someone else, that always come to my mind. Not how many fish we caught or even how big my trophy was, but how it got away and the things that only men who have “been there” can appreciate. Although I hate to admit it, I wouldn’t trade that fish getting away for anything. Dad and I still laugh about it. And the time t hat Pop’s boat motor died and he and Will had to float backwards down the river a bit before they got it going again. Seeing the look on Pop’s face, as he was wearing his usual one size too small Duxbak hat tightly on the top of his head, you would have thought that he was about to travel down a sixty foot waterfall on some unexplored river in the African jungle instead of a two foot deep “rapid” that was about twenty yards in the middle of the Little Red River. I will never forget his desperate look and how me and Dad laughed until our stomachs hurt. Things that mean nothing to the outsider, but the world to us who saw and lived it.

At last, I come back to my original thought. The song reminded me not only of trout fishing, but one trip in particular. I believe it was the year that I was in ninth or tenth grade and it rained the entire first two days. Living in a tent in the rain can be pretty miserable. Not to mention the fact that we couldn’t have a fire and had to eat bologna sandwiches for EVERY meal. The second afternoon, it was really raining and Dad and I were in his little “champagne” Ranger listening to the radio. Naturally for this time, we were listening to a Boston tape and more specifically, “Don’t Look Back”. Every time I hear it now I think about that moment, and how we were all miserable, just wanting to go home, but no one would say it. We stayed and didn’t catch much and it was pretty uneventful on the whole. But I was thinking today, how I would give almost anything to be able to go back and live it again. I would sit through a tornado just to be able to do it with Pop and Dad and Will. Back before Will and I knew the meaning of responsibility, back before Pop had so much taken from him, back before I realized that Dad didn’t have all the answers. Growing up isn’t having to get a job and pay bills, growing up is finding out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist.

It is such a cheat that we can never realize how good things are and how much we will miss them when they are gone. George “Bird” Evans once wrote that “the perfection of a bird dog, like the perfection of autumn is tinged with sadness because you know, even as it begins that it must end. Time bestows the gift and steals it in the process.” The end of adolescence, like many things, is like this, you too late realize that you truly can’t go home again. That time is the thief of our yesterdays as well as out tomorrows.I loved those times, but if I could go back, I tell myself that I would love them even more. I wouldn’t sleep but instead try to soak up every single moment. Every joke told, every fishing lie, every fish caught, and every evening fire. I would try to pay the attention deserved. I think that true happiness is being able to say at any given moment that there is nowhere else in the world you would rather be and no one else you’d rather be with, and truly mean it. If that is true, that was happiness. Dripping Springs, little Cleos lures, ugly women, and being with three of the best men who have ever sat around in a wet tent and ate cold bologna sandwiches.

“But I’m not homesick for the camp or even the hunting-it’s the time I weep for; how I felt about being where I was and doing what I was doing. This is one place where I was truly happy………..I remember thinking that nothing here should ever change. And it shouldn’t have. But it does.” - Gene Hill

This was written by my wonderful husband, Matthew. I am truly a lucky girl to have someone who can express himself so well, and is not afraid of emotion. -- Brandy

My 10 year high school reunion....

In some ways it feels like it's been an eternity since I graduated high school, and in others it seems like it was just yesterday. Well, in any case, May marked 10 big ones and since our class president had a baby in April, our reunion got pushed to September.

I went to school in Kingsland, AR...a very small town for anyone who may not know. Kingsland, whose crowning achievement is that it is the birthplace of Johhny Cash, had a population of 449 people during the 2000 census. I was born and raised in New Edinburg, AR which is about 8 miles away, but the NE school closed down the year I started kindergarten. Our school consisted of about 400 people headstart thru seniors, including faculty and staff. Needless to say, everybody knew everybody...and their business.

I went to school for 13 years with mostly the same people. Of course we had a few classmates who would come or go over the years and at our 6th grade graduation we had I think the largest class in all of Cleveland County with either 36 or 38. By the time we were seniors, our numbers had dropped down to 24, and I think only 22 of us actually received diplomas. Regardless of whether we all liked one another or not, we were friends. We had been through alot together, and although many of us have moved away from home, we keep in contact to some extent and still feel a closeness that is very familiar...almost like family.

Today I had the pleasure of contacting our Senior class sponsors and inviting them to our reunion. One, Mr. Powell, I didn't know very well at all. He was a coach that came in my Junior or Senior year, and I never really had any dealings with him until our Sr. Trip. I emailed him and gave him all the info on the reunion and he replied that he already had a commitment that day, wished he could be there, and said that he had been married for 8 years, and had a daughter that would be 3 in January. Then, he asked if I had "any little ones"....which made me laugh out loud. I responded that I had married my highschool sweetheart almost 7 years ago, and that we have a 5 year old, a 3 year old, and are expecting baby number 3 in February. I'm not sure why this amused me so much, but it did. I suppose he wasn't much older than us 10 years ago, I'd say mid twenties. But, by the time I graduated Matthew and I had been dating for almost 3 years, and I think there were some people that were already growing impatient that we weren't at least engaged.

One person in particular, our English/Journalism teacher, Sandra Smead, asked Matthew constantly when he was going to marry me. I suppose in 2002 when our wedding announcement finally came out in the paper she was extremely happy. To me, being 28 and expecting my third child doesn't seem that strange. Maybe it is, but I know at least 2 of my classmates have already had their third child. Maybe it has something to do with a small country town and it's mentality, but I've always wanted to have my kids before I turned 30. I'm glad I felt that way because as tired as they make me these days, I don't think I could keep up with little ones ten years from now!

This has turned into a very long blog, but I'm feeling very nostalgic today, and it has been a long time since I posted anything. I so wish that Mr. Powell could make it to our reunion. I bet the look on his face when he saw all of our kids would be priceless!

New Blog...

Ok guys, most of you know by now that we're expecting baby #3. I have to find a new doctor and I need help thinking of questions to ask him, so go to my new blog http://the3rdtimearound.blogspot.com/ and help me think!

The Middle Mom....

Ok, so let me just say that Christie Erwin is my HERO. Maury Draper is another of my heroes. I don't know Christie Erwin at all, and don't really know Maury all that well, but I love them. They are amazing women who are doing amazing things in their everyday lives, and I'm pretty sure they deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor or something. They are both foster moms.

Recently, Maury posted on yet another online networking site that she was going to a book release party for a friend. Her friend, the aforementioned Christie Erwin, had written a book about her experiences as a foster mom. (www.themiddlemom.com) I picked up my copy at the post office this morning. We left Oakdale, LA at noon and finally got to Fordyce for a certain cousin's graduation at 5:40 pm. Graduation was at 7, there was a gathering at her grandparents afterward, and I think the kids and I finally made it to the in-laws at sometime around 10 pm. Some time around 11, Ethan asked to go to bed so we did. I thought I was too tired to read, but I was intrigued by this book so I started it. It is not 1:47 am and I have read 12 out of the 18 chapters and I really don't want to stop. I have to though, because my sobbing is disturbing my sleeping 4 year old and I definitely don't want to wake her up. Besides, I'm getting a headache so I'd better get to bed.

Anyway, I'm not sure how much sense any of the previous stuff made, but here's the moral of the story: READ THE BOOK. And if you are so convicted, find your way to help. Also, hug a foster mom and dad!

Cascarones

Well, I was thinking that ever since we got married and moved to the border, we've always had cascarones on Easter. I can't believe I let it slip my mind on our first year away! For those of you who haven't lived on the Mexican border, cascarones are confetti filled eggs that you break over people's heads and the superstition goes that it's supposed to bring you good luck. Anyway, they're tons of fun and kids LOVE them. Here are some pics from the past few Easters and all the fun we've had with cascarones.

Abby's 2nd Easter, but the first one she actually got to participate in!




I love these two...."what was that?"





"What are you doing to me?" If looks could kill....poor Alessandra!

My sweet baby! 2006









These are from 2007. It had been raining for several days and we weren't even sure if we'd be able to go outside because it was COLD....in the 30's I believe which is VERY cold for Del Rio!





Our friends' little boy, Raymon, was very serious about this!

Abby had a blast!

See the store bought ones? Those were the ones I brought! ;)

I'll have to get the laptop out for the ones from last year. I'm too lazy for that right now! More later!

Bippo the Hippo

Well, I finally got up the nerve to take the kids to the dentist this year. I'm horrible, but I never wanted to take Abby to anyone that might scare her or make her dread the dentist like some people do. I searched for a pediatric dentist while we were in Del Rio, but the closest was in San Antonio which was a 200 mile drive and I just couldn't imagine driving that far and still having a pleasant experience with a child in a dental chair.

After we moved, I found www.bippothehippo.com and to my delight Dr. Brasher was only 35 miles from us! So, new dental insurance card in hand, I took her. Matthew took the day off and stayed with Ethan because I wasn't sure what to expect from her. To my surprise, she did amazing, and was HAPPY to be there! Her hygenist's name was Carrie, and she showed her everything before she started, brused her teeth (they don't use the electric polisher thing on the kids), flossed, then she asked Abby if she could take pictures....and Abby said YES! She did an entire set of x-rays, which they said some 6 year olds won't do, and never flinched.

The worst part for her was when Bippo the Hippo came out to take a picture with her. She did take the picture, but she was clutching my hand while she stood on one side of the water fountain and Bippo stood on the other side. They printed us pictures, and even made her a button with one. If I ever get my scanner back, I'll post it, because it's hilarious.

Anyway, yesterday was Ethan's turn, and, well......look for yourself!

Needless to say, he did GREAT! Completely cooperative! You'd never know that I literally have to HOLD HIM DOWN to brush his teeth most days. When his daddy asked him what his favorite part was, it wasn't the stickers or balloon, or goody bag he got....it was the motorcycle he is holding in the pictures. They have a toy room and they got to play before and after his checkup, but he didn't get to bring that motorcycle home. I did promise him something if he was good, and Abby too if she behaved while he was there. They were angels. So, I asked them if they wanted a toy (a small one) or if they wanted to go to the movies....they agreed (gasp) that they wanted to see Monsters vs. Aliens. So we did.

It was a great day! And I didn't feel crazy at all yesterday, which is a real accomplishment for me!

Feelin' crafty....

I've been looking around for new Easter baskets for the kiddos because ours have seen better days. I really wanted the ones from Pottery Barn Kids, but I just can't make myself spend that much on baskets, no matter how cute they are. Besides, they were out of the one I wanted for Ethan. :)

Anyway, I found this idea for personalized canvas bags on http://asisterforthebean.blogspot.com/ . I decided to give it a try, and it was SO easy, and I absolutely love the kids' bags!

And while I'm not going to use these for Easter, I still LOVE them. I did find some baskets at Michael's and I'm thinking about making liners for them....we'll see if I get around to that.

I can't believe it's March!

We moved in December, is it really possible that it's March already? I still have boxes of stuff that need to be unpacked. I'm seriously thinking about just having a yardsale with them because I obviously don't NEED what's in them.

We're still trying to sell the house. Monday our realtor called and the same people who submitted an offer last week wanted to re-submit it this week. Last week they started at $18,500 less than the list price, and after all of the negotiating they had come up in price a whopping $5,000. After all of that they still wanted us to pay their closing, repairs, and buy them a home warranty. We came down as much as we feel is acceptable, and gave them our lowest offer again yesterday so we'll see what happens. I'm actually getting annoyed with them, but I would love to sell the house.

We found the kids a pediatrician finally! One that went to medical school in this country, and not Belize. (I know that may sound a little nuts, but I had a bad experience with the first doctor I took Ethan to.) They saw her yesterday and she assured me that Ethan's stiffening/holding his breath until he passed out fits are perfectly normal for a 2 year old. Ethan also got the second dose of his flu shot, which surprisingly, didn't make him cry. He whimpered just a little, but then she put on a SpongeBob Band-Aid and he was fine! Just like every other time they get a shot, I took them to WalMart to pick out a toy. After looking at ALL of the stuff in the store, he decided on a $1 bag of plastic coins with the Easter stuff.

Abby asked to eat lunch at Wendy's because she hasn't had Wendy's since we moved. My kids are so strange. :) It was nice to get to explore in a new direction. Their doctor is in Eunice which is south/southeast of where we live. And on Saturday after Abby's soccer game we're going to go to Lake Charles and explore over there as well. Matthew has an eye appointment there, and we'll have a few hours to waste so that should be fun.

We had Matthew's parents and nephew here last weekend, and on the 21st we're expecting his aunt and uncle to come down. It's actually nice to have regular visitors, especially when they don't stay an entire week! But if someone wants to come and see me for a week, bring it on!

ATTENTION: NEW EDINBURG (AR) GRADS

Ok, so my Papaw (Jerry Langford) is trying to round up the class pictures from New Edinburg. (The big composite ones that are displayed of the entire class.)

Some classes apparently had 8x10 composites just like the big ones made. If any of you have one, your mom or grandma, aunt, or whoever has one, he would like to get a copy or at the very least get it scanned onto the computer so he can get one made to hang up at the old school.

So, get out the pictures and get to diggin!

Brandy

Insurance....argh!

First let me say that I am soooooo very thankful that we HAVE insurance, and good insurance at that, but why does it have to be so darn confusing?

Matthew works for the Federal Government, which = great benefits. We have health insurance, dental insurance, and vision insurance....the dental and vision just started this year so they're new to me. Ok, so Abby went to the dentist on February 3rd....no cavities, YAY! Her total charge was $170, so I wrote them a check, but they always hold your payment until they receive payment from your insurance. So, I get the estimation of benefits from the dental insurance and it says: health insurance is paying $61.00, and dental will pay the remaining $109.00.

I'm ecstatic, I just saved $170! Then today the dental office left me a message that I owed them $26.00, which I'm not complaining about, but I wondered why since the insurance was supposed to cover the whole thing. So, I started calling insurances. Then I called the office back....."we don't file on health insurance" they told me. They are sending me a SuperBill, whatever that is, so that I can file with my health insurance. Meanwhile, I paid the $26.00.

Once again, I'm not complaining about the money, but why does it have to be so complicated? I mean, we pay a pretty penny for all that insurance, but it's not much when you consider what the government pays and what we would spend out of pocket if we didn't have it. And since it IS paid for, I expect to be able to use it when we need it.

Now, Matthew needs new glasses, and he has an appointment tomorrow and I feel quite sure that I'll get to call everyone all over again for that. At least maybe I won't have to call the dental insurance anymore, and at least everyone I've spoken to so far has been American!

I am afraid...

that I am raising two little brats. Does anyone else feel like that?

Of course, I try to teach them right from wrong. I try to teach them not to hit each other, not to be mean to each other, to have respect for other people, their things, and their feelings. But what if I'm not doing good enough?

Lately, and I'm not sure how much of it has to do with our moving, Abby has been acting out. Yesterday I told her to go and stand in the corner because she didn't do something I'd asked. She refused. I got up to give her a quick swat on the behind, at which point she dropped to the floor and started kicking me.

Ok, at this point I admit I completely lost my cool. I first removed her shoes. Brand new shoes that we'd bought the day before at Target and that she is absolutely in love with. I put them in the top of my closet because they became the object of her anger when I took them off. She was in the floor having an all out FIT, so I took her outside. (This is something I've done before, and it has immediately calmed her down. At our house in Del Rio, I would stand her outside the back door in our fenced yard, and close the door. When she was done screaming we would talk.) Well, I took her outside, but she screamed like someone was beating her, banged on the door, etc....until I was afraid that someone would call the cops. I brought her inside and put her on her bed.

It took quite a while for her to calm down, and she stayed in her bed most of the day and was not allowed to play with her toys. I didn't know what to do, and I still don't.

I did make up new chore and behavior charts that are on a point/demerit system. Starting tonight we will count up how many stars or stickers each child has earned and they will earn coins (I haven't decided what denomination to start with) for each. Then, we will count up the number of demerits (red x's) and take away one earned coin for each of those. I am hoping that by seeing how her negative behavior will affect her earnings that she'll work to earn more, and lose less.

I just finished reading "Have a New Kid by Friday" and I want to implement that in our house. However, I'm afraid that her behavior recently is too far past what I learned in that book for it to help right now. I want to have good children, and I believe they ARE good children. I just need to learn how to make THAT part of them the more dominant part. Also, how are we as parents supposed to know when something else is bothering a child? Like, what if she's really upset over the move and not having her friends? What do I do? How do I know what to do?

Man, I wish there was an instruction book.

Ok, I need more help...

This seems to be a continuing topic for me, huh?

Anyway, in the previous post I asked about a cookbook for a graduation or wedding gift. (Thanks Tara!) And in this one I need a little different help. You see we have this cousin. She will be 18 in about 2 weeks, graduating in May, and has recently announced to the world that she is getting married in June or July.

The latter has caused quite a bit of uproar from various family members since she is so young and has only been dating this guy since around May. For much of the time they've been dating he's been at Basic Training, and now is in Italy with the Air Force. Now, having been a teenager in love, I can see her point of view. Also, after having dated and been married to the same person for the last 12 years, I can also see her parents' point of view.

I have seen this coming for a while now, because we are very close thanks to text messaging and various other internet networking. She is a very level-headed girl and fully intends on going to college, online at first while in Italy, and physically attending classes to become an RN upon their return to the states. I've done my best to bring up various points that should be considered and discussed before a person gets married, and she's thoughtfully considered all of them and discussed them with her soon-to-be. I, personally, do not know him, but from the people who do he sounds like a nice young man. He is 20, I believe.

Now, here's where I need help. Can you all, since I know you're all older than 18, and have all been 18 at some point, think of more points that I can have her think about? I understand that she will legally be an adult and can basically do whatever she pleases, but I care and I want her to be as prepared as possible. Since it looks like she will not take a couple of years to get to know this guy better, I want to throw as much helpful knowledge her way as possible.

Also, get your recipes ready, because I'm sure that I'll be asking for that soon! Thanks!

Create-Your-Own-Cookbook

Does anyone know of a good blank cookbook that I can get for a graduation or wedding gift? Matthew's grandmother gave me one when I was in college and I LOVE it. Only thing I would change is I would want a spiral bound so that it will lay open while I'm trying to read it. Something simple with lots of room to add.....