This seems to be a continuing topic for me, huh?
Anyway, in the previous post I asked about a cookbook for a graduation or wedding gift. (Thanks Tara!) And in this one I need a little different help. You see we have this cousin. She will be 18 in about 2 weeks, graduating in May, and has recently announced to the world that she is getting married in June or July.
The latter has caused quite a bit of uproar from various family members since she is so young and has only been dating this guy since around May. For much of the time they've been dating he's been at Basic Training, and now is in Italy with the Air Force. Now, having been a teenager in love, I can see her point of view. Also, after having dated and been married to the same person for the last 12 years, I can also see her parents' point of view.
I have seen this coming for a while now, because we are very close thanks to text messaging and various other internet networking. She is a very level-headed girl and fully intends on going to college, online at first while in Italy, and physically attending classes to become an RN upon their return to the states. I've done my best to bring up various points that should be considered and discussed before a person gets married, and she's thoughtfully considered all of them and discussed them with her soon-to-be. I, personally, do not know him, but from the people who do he sounds like a nice young man. He is 20, I believe.
Now, here's where I need help. Can you all, since I know you're all older than 18, and have all been 18 at some point, think of more points that I can have her think about? I understand that she will legally be an adult and can basically do whatever she pleases, but I care and I want her to be as prepared as possible. Since it looks like she will not take a couple of years to get to know this guy better, I want to throw as much helpful knowledge her way as possible.
Also, get your recipes ready, because I'm sure that I'll be asking for that soon! Thanks!
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My first Razorback angel...
Abigail Elizabeth
My second Razorback angel...
Ethan Eli
My third Razorback angel...
Sophia Isabelle
2 comments:
Two things I remember when I was engaged two different people told me 1) You have to allow room for change. realize that likes/dislikes, appearance, etc. is going to change. 2) Do you love him at his worse? Because often when you are dating you only see the good (trying to impress or blinded by love, etc.) so can you truly say you love him at his worst? I thought both were a bit crazy when I was engaged but after 8 1/2 years of marriage I understand and am also proud to say I love Chris more than words can say! Hope that helps!
I have been meaning to comment on this sooner, but I have a lot to say, and couldn't think of how to say it all.
My sister got married when she was 18, the fall right after she graduated high school, and moved with her him to California b/c he is in the army. He was her high school boyfriend, but they had actually broken up when he went to the army, but then when he came home on leave later, they decided to get married, and then just 3 months later, they did. It has been very hard on her. She turned down a full paid scholarship to college to do this. She never ended up going to school or getting a job while she was in California b/c she was too depressed to take the initiatiative to do it. He would be gone out in the field for 2 weeks at a time, and she would literally not leave that house the whole time b/c she didn't know anyone, and was scared to leave the house. She would get down to NO groceries and still not leave. Then, he went to Iraq, and she moved back home to live with my parents, and is just hanging out there waiting for him to get back. Couldn't really do school, and just chose not to get a job. They have been married over 2 years, and have only lived together about 6 months of that. Now that she hasn't lived with him in over a year, he is about to move back, and they are moving to Hawaii, which sounds glamorous, but she is terrified about that b/c she knows they will be back to her being alone again.
It is hard enough to get married, it is hard enough to get married young, and it is that much harder to get married under her circumstance. BUT...I also know what it is like to be in love....and that is all that matters at the time, and I am sure you can't talk her out of it, BUT...maybe you can share my sister's experience with her, and let her know how important it is from the beginning to make some friends, and get a job or school so that she will have something going on for her besides siting at home waiting on him.
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